🔥 Elite Edge – Week 34: “You’re Too Much” Is Code for ‘You’re a Threat’

Before we dive in, I want to honor the fierce, brilliant, and unstoppable moms, stepmoms, and mother figures in our Elite Edge community — belated Happy Mother’s Day to the women who lead at home and in the world.

Being a mom is the ultimate leadership training — and this weekend reminded me of just how much I’ve learned from both the boardroom and the breakfast table.

Here’s me and my son, who keeps me grounded, inspired, and laughing — even on the toughest days:

Now, back to business — because this week, we’re talking about a message so many high performers hear:

Translation? You’re a threat.
To someone’s ego. To someone’s comfort. To a system that rewards compliance over courage.

Here’s what they won’t say out loud:
Your excellence exposes their mediocrity.

This week, we’re calling BS on the outdated idea that being bold makes you a problem — and giving you the tools to own your power without apology.

🚨 The “Too Much” Trap: Why You’re Not the Problem

When someone tells you you're too much, what they often mean is:

• You're asking for accountability they’re not used to

• You’re performing at a level that makes others nervous

• You’re challenging the status quo they benefit from

This isn’t about your tone — it’s about your impact.
And impact makes mediocre people uncomfortable.

🧠 Why "Tone Policing" Is the Corporate Silencer

“Watch your tone.”
“Soften your message.”
“Be more collaborative.”

These are often weaponized against high-performers — especially women, BIPOC professionals, and anyone who doesn’t conform to unspoken norms.

Truth:
Your tone isn’t the problem. Their fragility is.

Elite Move: Learn to separate feedback about delivery from feedback designed to control or diminish. One helps you grow. The other keeps you small.

💣 3 Ways to Stay Bold — Without Getting Burned

1. Document Your Results
   Make your impact undeniable. Keep the receipts.
   Excellence creates protection.

2. Master Emotional Intelligence — Not Compliance
   You can be self-aware without self-erasing.
   Know your audience, but don’t shrink for them.

3. Build Power Outside the Org
   Your network is your safety net.
   LinkedIn presence, cross-industry relationships, mentors — all of it matters when internal politics get in the way.

💬 Reminder:

You weren’t hired to blend in.
You were hired to raise the bar.
Your excellence exposes their mediocrity.
Stop dimming your light for people who operate better in the dark.

🛠️ This Week’s Elite Moves:

✅ Reframe one piece of criticism you’ve internalized — and ask: “Is this about me or them?”
✅ Share one bold opinion on LinkedIn or in a meeting this week
✅ Reach out to someone in your network whose boldness you admire — and tell them
✅ Own your impact out loud — not just in your head

📚What I Read This Week…

“Stop Relying on Others for Validation at Work” – Harvard Business Review

This insightful article delves into the common workplace dynamics that can undermine self-confidence, leading individuals to seek external validation. It emphasizes the importance of building internal confidence and offers practical strategies to navigate environments where recognition isn't always forthcoming.

🧠 Takeaway: Cultivating self-assurance is crucial. Relying solely on external affirmation can be detrimental; instead, focus on internal growth and resilience to thrive professionally.

👉 Read the full article

🎙️What I Listened to This Week… (Podcasts)

You’ve got the Edge. Now sharpen it.

See you next week,

Deepali Vyas
Your Elite Recruiter
Doing the research so you don’t have to.

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🔥This Week’s Elite Job Drops 🔥

These openings are under the radar — not on LinkedIn, not on job boards.
I’m sharing them here first, to connect top talent with real, unposted opportunities 👇

🔹 Now Hiring: Vice President of Sales & Marketing
📍 Construction Innovations (California-based Electrical Manufacturing Firm) 👉 Apply here: View the job description and apply

🎯 If you’re hiring and want your role featured in an upcoming newsletter, just email me directly.

I’m here to help — and your opportunity will reach thousands of highly engaged, top-tier professionals.

Let’s lift as we climb!🚀 

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